Why guys who play DOTA make the best life partners
(Disclaimer: This is not written by me..and for goodness’ sake those with a sorry excuse for a sense of humour please don’t read this.)
- Single-hearted devotion: He is willing to invest a lot of time and effort in pursuing the hobby he loves. In the future, he will be a successful career-minded professional who puts his heart and soul into what he does. Besides, a devoted man is an attractive man. The next time he is concentrating on a DOTA game, take a good look at him, and you may find him attractive in ways you never did notice before.
- Indomitable spirit: Every DOTA-er starts from being a newb. Every DOTA player inevitably goes through the long and painful process of feeding and farming only a Boots of Speed and 2 Wraith Bands (not bracers coz too expensive) at 30mins. If he doesn’t have a never-say-die-attitude, he would have given up long ago. So, every DOTA player possess strong will and fighting spirit. And such a man, is of course, more reliable and can be depended upon.
- Gentlemanly: A DOTA player is gentlemanly. Even when he gets thrashed badly, he will still say GG (good game) to the opponent at the end of the game. At the most, just try again another day.
- Extraordinary patience: DOTA cultivates patience. The opponent might be owning 10 minutes into the game, but a good DOTA player will persevere on and wait patiently for a chance to turn the tables. He will hang on tightly and continue to farm, gank (and sometimes KS if given the opportunity), until he gets the chance to wipe out the opponent team and make the winning push. Similarly in life, you can be sure that he will not PP (pull plug) but will hold your hand and endure the hardships together.
- Extremely durable punchbag: Every DOTA-er would surely have been at the mercy of imba magic spells before, those that would make anyone pee in their pants, like Reverse Polarity+ Black hole, a Lion+Lina lane etc, or a Blink+Echo Slam when you are Broodmother pushing with a thousand spiderlings around you. So you can be sure that he makes a good punchbag when you need one, especially on those bad days.
- Attentive and sensitive: A good DOTA player an observant one. One of the basic skills of DOTA is to be observant of your surroundings, of every move your opponent makes or is planning to make. Therefore, when he is spending time with you, he will be very sensitive to your feelings. Every frown or smile will not pass by unnoticed. He will lend a listening ear when you are troubled, his shoulder will be there when you need to cry (or are just feeling tired). He will offer words of comfort when you are feeling down. Can you find anyone better?
- Lightning reflexes: Another basic requirement of DOTA is to have fast reflexes. Slowpokes are doomed to die in DOTA, because by the time you find the hotkey for Voodoo, you would have been killed by Invoker’s Tornado+Chaos Meteor, possibly followed up by Cold Snap. You don’t need to be as agile as Jet Li to get by in life, but there is no harm in having a partner who can react quickly to real-life situations.
- IT-savvy: A DOTA player is more knowledgeable about computers and the net than the average guy. Any DOTA player would be able to talk, at some length, about graphic cards, CPU, mice, keyboards, bandwidth speeds etc. In this day and age, it can be embarassing if your partner is computer-illiterate. With a DOTA player as a spouse, you can be sure that all your kids will grow up to be tech-savvy, capable individuals.
- Remarkable mental strength: Constant psychological pressure during DOTA is a norm. You never know when a Nerubian Assasin will pop out from nowhere, annihilating you within seconds. You can never be sure if a Pudge+CM is lying in wait at the secret shop. Hence, you can be assured that the DOTA player will not crumble easily in the face of real-life pressures, because he is so accustomed to handling such circumstances and the hours of DOTA has increased his mental endurance.
- Effective planner: If you fail to plan in DOTA, you plan to fail. Rush headlong into a teamfight without planning and you will be waiting for respawn next. A good DOTA player is adept at planning, calculating risks and making judgements. To initiate a gank or not, how to position your character is but some of the many decisions you have to make throughout the game. Thus, the pro DOTA player is a careful and meticulous one. He will plan a party on your birthday, and plan a surprise for your anniversary.
- Reliable breadwinner: Money makes the world go round. Farming for gold is of utmost importance in DOTA. Without items, your imba skills at micro/macro management cannot guarantee victory. The long and arduous process of farming for gold (especially reaching that elusive 3800 for a Relic) requires a lot of skill and technique. Hence, rest assured that a pro DOTA-er will always bring home the bacon, and lots of it. The husband earns for you to spend. What more can you ask for?
- Faithful partner: DOTA players are loyal lovers. They are able to resist the flaming hot Lina or that sexy Rylai, and mercilessly send them back to where they came from (fountain), despite their charming looks. DOTA players will not be tempted so easily.
- Team and community spirit: -Good- DOTA players are self-sacrificing. They always put themselves before others. They have good teamwork, and are willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. They don’t mind letting the team’s main DPS hero get the kill. This kind of person is not self-centred, and will place the family or society above self.
Not all DOTA players may display all the points listed above, but that’s only because you haven’t discovered these attributes yet. Look a little harder, and give yourselves a little more time. You will not regret it.
I came across this on FB, but in Mandarin, so made an attempt to translate it. My bullshit meter is exploding after translating it. I’m quite certain that this is probably written by a DOTA-playing single guy, while waiting for the next game on Garena…haha. Please take this with heaps of salt. I will not be liable for any futures destroyed due to this post. 原文如下：