Why guys who play DOTA make the best life partners

(Disclaimer: This is not written by me..and for goodness’ sake those with a sorry excuse for a sense of humour please don’t read this.) 

  1. Single-hearted devotion: He is willing to invest a lot of time and effort in pursuing the hobby he loves. In the future, he will be a successful career-minded professional who puts his heart and soul into what he does. Besides, a devoted man is an attractive man. The next time he is concentrating on a DOTA game, take a good look at him, and you may find him attractive in ways you never did notice before.
  2. Indomitable spirit: Every DOTA-er starts from being a newb. Every DOTA player inevitably goes through the long and painful process of feeding and farming only a Boots of Speed and 2 Wraith Bands (not bracers coz too expensive) at 30mins. If he doesn’t have a never-say-die-attitude, he would have given up long ago. So, every DOTA player possess strong will and fighting spirit. And such a man, is of course, more reliable and can be depended upon.
  3. Gentlemanly: A DOTA player is gentlemanly. Even when he gets thrashed badly, he will still say GG (good game) to the opponent at the end of the game. At the most, just try again another day.
  4. Extraordinary patience: DOTA cultivates patience. The opponent might be owning 10 minutes into the game, but a good DOTA player will persevere on and wait patiently for a chance to turn the tables. He will hang on tightly and continue to farm, gank (and sometimes KS if given the opportunity), until he gets the chance to wipe out the opponent team and make the winning push. Similarly in life, you can be sure that he will not PP (pull plug) but will hold your hand and endure the hardships together.
  5. Extremely durable punchbag: Every DOTA-er would surely have been at the mercy of imba magic spells before, those that would make anyone pee in their pants, like Reverse Polarity+ Black hole, a Lion+Lina lane etc, or a Blink+Echo Slam when you are Broodmother pushing with a thousand spiderlings around you. So you can be sure that he makes a good punchbag when you need one, especially on those bad days.
  6. Attentive and sensitive: A good DOTA player an observant one. One of the basic skills of DOTA is to be observant of your surroundings, of every move your opponent makes or is planning to make. Therefore, when he is spending time with you, he will be very sensitive to your feelings. Every frown or smile will not pass by unnoticed. He will lend a listening ear when you are troubled, his shoulder will be there when you need to cry (or are just feeling tired). He will offer words of comfort when you are feeling down. Can you find anyone better?
  7. Lightning reflexes: Another basic requirement of DOTA is to have fast reflexes. Slowpokes are doomed to die in DOTA, because by the time you find the hotkey for Voodoo, you would have been killed by Invoker’s Tornado+Chaos Meteor, possibly followed up by Cold Snap. You don’t need to be as agile as Jet Li to get by in life, but there is no harm in having a partner who can react quickly to real-life situations.
  8. IT-savvy: A DOTA player is more knowledgeable about computers and the net than the average guy. Any DOTA player would be able to talk, at some length, about graphic cards, CPU, mice, keyboards, bandwidth speeds etc. In this day and age, it can be embarassing if your partner is computer-illiterate. With a DOTA player as a spouse, you can be sure that all your kids will grow up to be tech-savvy, capable individuals.
  9. Remarkable mental strength: Constant psychological pressure during DOTA is a norm. You never know when a Nerubian Assasin will pop out from nowhere, annihilating you within seconds. You can never be sure if a Pudge+CM is lying in wait at the secret shop. Hence, you can be assured that the DOTA player will not crumble easily in the face of real-life pressures, because he is so accustomed to handling such circumstances and the hours of DOTA has increased his mental endurance.
  10. Effective planner: If you fail to plan in DOTA, you plan to fail. Rush headlong into a teamfight without planning and you will be waiting for respawn next. A good DOTA player is adept at planning, calculating risks and making judgements. To initiate a gank or not, how to position your character is but some of the many decisions you have to make throughout the game. Thus, the pro DOTA player is a careful and meticulous one. He will plan a party on your birthday, and plan a surprise for your anniversary.
  11. Reliable breadwinner: Money makes the world go round. Farming for gold is of utmost importance in DOTA. Without items, your imba skills at micro/macro management cannot guarantee victory. The long and arduous process of farming for gold (especially reaching that elusive 3800 for a Relic) requires a lot of skill and technique. Hence, rest assured that a pro DOTA-er will always bring home the bacon, and lots of it. The husband earns for you to spend. What more can you ask for?
  12. Faithful partner: DOTA players are loyal lovers. They are able to resist the flaming hot Lina or that sexy Rylai, and mercilessly send them back to where they came from (fountain), despite their charming looks. DOTA players will not be tempted so easily.
  13. Team and community spirit: -Good- DOTA players are self-sacrificing. They always put themselves before others. They have good teamwork, and are willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. They don’t mind letting the team’s main DPS hero get the kill. This kind of person is not self-centred, and will place the family or society above self.

Not all DOTA players may display all the points listed above, but that’s only because you haven’t discovered these attributes yet. Look a little harder, and give yourselves a little more time. You will not regret it.

 

I came across this on FB, but in Mandarin, so made an attempt to translate it. My bullshit meter is exploding after translating it. I’m quite certain that this is probably written by a DOTA-playing single guy, while waiting for the next game on Garena…haha. Please take this with heaps of salt. I will not be liable for any futures destroyed due to this post. 原文如下:

打DOTA的男生是MM的择偶最佳选择原因如下:

1、强烈的事业心:他可以为自己的爱好付出一切精力。将来,他也一定会有自己热爱的事业。而且,男人最性感的时刻之一,就是他专心致志做事的时候。所以,找一个机会在他全神贯注玩DOTA的时候,从侧面好好观察他,你就会发现我说的话没错。

2、永不服输的精神:俗话说,文无第一,武无第二。DOTA也是一项体育运动,每一个DOTAer都有过从被人踩到踩别人的经历,而且这个过程中的第一阶段——被踩,是一个相当漫长的时间段。如果没有不服输的精神,早就放弃了。所以,想要在玩DOTA的男性里找一个容易服输的人很难。游戏中如此,人生也如此,还是找个有骨气的男人比较好。

3、十分的绅士风度:就算被人扁到心里全是眼泪,打完一局后还是要说GG(也就是good game/多多指教),大不了明天再找回来。君子报仇,十年不晚。久而久之,DOTAer都会养成记吃不记打、谦虚谨慎的良好性格。这同样也是好老公的必备条件之一。

4、超长的耐心:一个DOTAer,不一定每局都会一直比分领先,但他们会在局势落后的时候,全力寻找每一个可以翻盘的机会,这个时候就需要耐心。耐心的去调整心态,耐心的去打钱、GANK/甚至偷塔,然后再给对手致命一击。在你们的生活中,同样也会有不顺心的时候,所以选个有耐心的老公吧,然后两个人,永远以风平浪静的心态,去面对共同的人生。

5、超强的抗击打能力:每一DOTAer一定都尝到过被对方魔法狂轰滥炸的感觉,而且不只是一次。那么,当他面对的不是冷冰冰的霜冻,而是充满爱意的小粉拳的时候,他同样也不会逃避,而是甘心情愿去选择做一个满脸笑容、老老实实的沙包。

6、非同一般的细心:做为DOTAer,基本功之一就是在游戏中的观察对手的走位和行动,日复一日,年复一年,他的观察力绝对和福尔摩斯不相上下。同样和你在一起的时候,他不会忽略掉你的各种感受,包括你的一颦一笑,一举一动。你疲劳时,他会帮助你;你高兴时,他会和你一起享受快乐;你苦闷时,他会安慰你。呜呼,有老公如此,夫复何求!

7、超越常人的敏捷反应:又是一项DOTAer的基本功,反射弧长的人同样不适合这项运动。选择终身伴侣,不一定非得要李连杰,成龙般的身手,但机灵点儿,总不会错吧。

8、超级丰富的计算机、网络知识:随随便便找一个DOTAer,他可以从选择显卡、CPU、鼠标、键盘,到对驱动、网络条件,进行优化和你聊上三天三夜。再说,以后的世界,永远是计算机和网络的世界,找一个不懂这两样东西的老公,就连出门也会被人笑话的。而且,你们未来的宝宝还没生下来就多了一个老师。xxx同志都说过,计算机要从娃娃抓起,这方面你是不用再担心了。

9、一级棒的心理承受力:不一定什么时候就会被对方抄了老家,不一定什么时候就会与敌人狭路相逢。每个DOTAer都养成了死亡之指指向心脏而不惊,风暴之锤锤于胸口而不惧的大无畏精神。人生总要经历坎坷和波折。一个遇事就变得颓废沮丧的人,你会选择他做你的终身伴侣吗?

10、计划性:到什么时候该干什么,是DOTAer应该烂熟于心的事。每时每刻他都在心里默默的做着计划,计算对手的等级以及经验,考虑对手出没的地方和是否GANK,思考对方集结的位置和可能进攻的方向。形成了做事缜密的性格后,他同样会把你们的生活安排的井井有条,后天是你的生日,应该开个party;大后天该去买大米,顺便把酱油买回来。嗯,就是这样。

11、会攒钱:在DOTA中,金钱几乎可以说是命脉,没有金钱就没有装备,没有装备,再NB的操作也是白费。所以,DOTAer都有一个非常好的习惯,就是攒钱。经过前期在线上的不懈努力,终于熬到了出装备的钱,那是一个破茧成蝶的过程(尤其是3800),所以找一个DOTAer,就是找一个会攒钱的男人,MM今后的日子一定会很富足的哦…至少是老公攒钱,老婆花的哦……

我再加两个:

13、拥有强大的抵抗美女诱惑的能力:面对对面的火女等级别的美女,绝对不手软,坚决把对方送回祭坛~~所以找一个DOTAer,MM绝对可以放心,他们绝对很专一。

14、拥有十分好的大局观和团队精神:为了团队可以牺牲自己,将补刀赚钱的机会让给更需要的主力DPS。这样的人在家庭和社会都可以为别人考虑,不以自己为中心。

并不是每个DOTAer都可以同时把以上十条体现得非常完美,但并不是因为他们没有这些优点,而是你还没有发掘出来,还没有观察到。所以多给他一点儿时间,要不然,你可能会后悔一辈子的。综上所述,DOTA不仅是一项竞技运动,而且是MM们择偶必备的重要工具之一。选择DOTAer,就是选择幸福。你们认同吗? @@”